Soul Searching [A Step-by-Step Guide]

Are you tired of feeling stuck in a rut? Feel like life has passed you by and all the good things have gone to someone else? Do you want to be more than just another statistic, living paycheck to paycheck with nothing good ever happening in your life?

It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life.

There are so many amazing things out there, but it can be hard to stay focused on what truly matters.

Soul Searching helps you find your way back and reconnects you with who you are and what’s important to you. It’s a process that many people go through when they feel lost and confused about what path to take in life.

The idea of Soul Searching can feel a little scary and intimidating if you don’t know how to go about it. Don’t worry – I’ll help you get started. This easy step-by-step guide will show you exactly what it takes to finally get out of that rut and start living your best life.

Sounds good? Then let’s get started!

What is Soul Searching?

Now before we get carried away, let’s get clear on what we mean by Soul Searching. Everyone’s definition of Soul Searching is a little different, as it’s quite a personal thing. Here’s my take on it:

Soul Searching is the process of going inward to find meaning and purpose, answer life’s questions and discover your truth. It has a deeper, more spiritual meaning too – it’s a journey to find your soul and re-connect with your true nature.

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Soul Searching

Soul Searching Synonym

Perhaps the best way to understand what Soul Searching is, is to look at other words for Soul Searching. Here’s a few:

  • introspection
  • self-contemplation
  • self-examination
  • self-observation
  • self-questioning
  • self-reflection
  • self-scrutiny
  • self-searching
Soul Searching

The Importance of Life Purpose

You intuitively know that understanding and pursuing your life purpose is important – now scientific research has confirmed this!

Psychologists published by Oxford Academic showed that future meaning, life purpose and life control predicts your level of psychological and physical well-being. They also proved that an Existential Vacuum (the inability to find meaning in life) predicts psychological and physical distress. More on this here.

Researchers at the University of Michigan found that having a strong sense of purpose in life means that you’ll live significantly longer. They also said that you’ll have improved physical and mental health and a much better overall quality of life.

Another research article published in the North American Journal of Psychology, shows that there’s a strong relationship between purpose in life and happiness.

So, if you want to improve your happiness, psychological and physical wellbeing, quality of life and life expectancy then doing some Soul Searching is well worth your time and effort. As Deepak Chopra says:

“By making a soul connection, your true purpose in life will become the foundation of everything you do.”

Deepak Chopra

When to Do Soul Searching

So how do you know when it’s time to start Soul Searching?

Everyone is different and has unique triggers and thresholds. That said, there’s often common themes that tell you it’s high time to begin Soul Searching.

Here’s 10 signs to look out for:

  • You’re constantly questioning your life, your purpose, path or reason for being.
  • You find yourself daydreaming about another life. What would your life be like if you had different relationships, a different career, more of this or less of that…
  • You feel something is missing. There’s a gaping gap and you feel unfulfilled.
  • You’re unhappy, empty and dissatisfied with your life – you crave something more.
  • You feel stuck, lost and directionless. You’ve stopped growing and moving forward.
  • Your energy is low. You’re tired, depressed and can’t be bothered to do anything.
  • You’re frequently grumpy, irritable, moody or anxious – you feel unhappy a lot.
  • You mindlessly try to numb the pain with distractions such as alcohol, drugs, social media, work, shopping and life dramas.
  • You’re going through a life crisis – a mid-life or quarter life crisis.
  • You’ve asked yourself, “Really, is this it?” or “What’s the point?” Or maybe you’ve muttered an exacerbated, “I don’t even know why I’m doing this anyway…”
Soul Searching

Why You Need Soul Searching

So, in a nutshell, life doesn’t feel good…

Why this this?

You’re feeling out of sync because you’ve disconnected from your soul – your True Self.

“The “soul” is one of the words you can use to talk about your innermost being, the essence of who you are.”

Eckhart Tolle

Disconnecting from your soul is called Soul Loss.

Soul Loss is a self-defence mechanism we utilise when a life experience is too traumatic or painful to bear. We shut off or hide a part of us – our Soul – to protect ourselves. This causes us to disconnect from the truth of who we truly are – spiritual beings.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Author of “Soul Journeying”, Alberto Villoldo, says that shamanic cultures believe that many illnesses come from the loss of the soul.

Soul Loss can be the result of significant life events such as trauma, abuse, accidents, surgery, abandonment or heart break. Soul retrieval expert, Sandra Ingerman says,

“Whenever we experience trauma, a part of our vital essence separates from us in order to survive the experience by escaping the full impact of the pain.”

Sandra Ingerman

Soul Loss can also be the result of societal and cultural conditioning.

Much of the western world doesn’t value spiritual practices, self-care or self-love. Driven by our ego, or False Self, we act against our morals, ignore our intuition and inner guidance and instead seek external validation and reward.

And slowly but surely our connection with our Soul ebbs away…

Soul Searching

So, now you know why Soul Searching can be so transformative for you, let’s look at how to do it. Here’s my easy to follow, step-by-step guide on how to get started with Soul Searching:

How to do Soul Searching in 10 Easy Steps

Step One: Find Solitude

If you want to re-connect with your soul and hear the guidance available to you, then you need to find quiet.

Solitude is an essential part of Soul Searching.

Whether it’s meditating, walking through the forest with your dog, or sitting on the back patio, you need to get comfortable being alone with your thoughts.

Carve out regular time to be alone. While it may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re not used to it, you will begin to appreciate the time and space for self-reflection and to ponder your thoughts and ideas without pressure or expectation.

Soul Searching

Step Two: Take Stock

At the beginning of your Soul Searching journey, take stock of where you’re at today.

Taking an honest look at your life will help you get clear on your starting point and will help to begin to work out what you want your life to be like.

The intention here is not to beat yourself up for where you’re at – but look at your situation honestly and with self-compassion.

Examine and reflect on all areas of your life, not just the obvious ones like money and relationships. In Lifebook Online, the amazing Jon and Missy Butcher, suggest that you examine 12 areas of your life:

  • Your Health and Fitness
  • Your Intellectual Life
  • Your Emotional Life
  • Your Character
  • Your Spiritual Life
  • Your Love Relationship
  • Your Parenting
  • Your Social Life
  • Your Financial Life
  • Your Career
  • The Quality of Your Life
  • Your Life Vision
Soul Searching

Jon and Missy have an awesome free masterclass where they introduce you to the 12 categories. They also guide you through the 4 critical questions to ask yourself so you can begin to move towards your dream life. You can access the masterclass for free here.

Jon & Missy Butcher

Step Three: Ask for Guidance

There’s a loving power in the universe that wants you to have your dreams, goals and desires just as much as you want them. You can call this Spirit, Universe, Source Energy or God – whatever word you feel comfortable with, it doesn’t matter!

“Call it whatever you want – God, Goddess, The Big Guy, The Universe, Source Energy, The Grand Poobah, Gut, Intuition, The Force, The Zone, The Vortex, The Motherload…whatever you choose to call it isn’t important…What is important is that you begin to develop an awareness of and a relationship with the Source Energy that’s surrounding you and within you…it’ll be your best pal ever if you give it a chance.”

Jen Sincero

Learning to connect with the Universe and to ask for guidance is going to make this whole Soul Searching journey a lot easier. Not doing so would be like having a super power or a magic wand and not using it!

Connect with a simple prayer such as:

“Universe, thank you for your love, protection and guidance on my Soul Searching journey. Please show me what I need to know to re-connect with my soul and what I need to do to move towards my highest good.”

Soul Searching

Step Four: Check Your Ego

The number one thing that’s going to get in the way of your Soul Searching is your ego.

Your ego is your False Self. It’s the image we present to the outside world. It constantly changes and flexes because it’s not real. This is why you behave in different ways in different situations. This is your ego at work – it’s not who you genuinely are. It’s not your True Self.

The idea of the ego was something I struggled to get my head around when I started my personal development journey.

The thing you need to understand is that the ego thinks it’s real and thinks it’s who we are. And any attempt to change it is seen as an attack on it’s very existence. This is why change and personal development can be so difficult. Your ego sabotages you.

Soul Searching

Have you ever had a situation where you’ve started to make a change in your life – started a new exercise program or started looking for a new job maybe – and then everything seemed to go spectacularly wrong in your life?

You got ill, your car broke down, your company announced a re-structure.

You had so much going on that you dropped the change you’d started and just went back to how you were…

That was your ego at play. It’s trying to protect you and keep you safe, but it’s also making you play small and have an unfulfilled life.

The way to stop your ego from sabotaging you is to become aware of it. You can do this with meditation and journaling – ask yourself ‘who I am?’ and see what comes up.

And remember that your ego will likely try to sabotage your Soul Searching as it doesn’t want you to change and grow. That’s okay – just be aware of it and don’t let it stop you moving forward.

Step Five: Meditation

I’ve already mentioned meditation, but it’s such an important part of your Soul Searching journey it needs its own section…

Meditation is where you’ll tap into your intuition and get inspiration and guidance from the Universe – this is where you get the download!

There’s many different ways to meditate.

You can simply sit quietly and observe your breath as your stomach rises and falls. Or you can repeat a mantra or positive affirmation silently to yourself.

Or perhaps you might like to try a guided meditation. Here’s my two favourite guided meditations for Soul Searching:

Experiment with different ways to meditate. There’s no right or wrong way – you just need to find a way that works for you!

Step Six: Soul Searching Questions

An important part of the Soul Searching process is to ask yourself some questions about your life, who you are and what’s important to you.

To help you with this, I’ve created a workbook for you called Soul Searching Journal Prompts. It’s in my free Manifestation Toolbox (along with many other free guides, workbooks and masterclasses) which you can access for free here.

The Manifestation Toolbox

Be sure to download your free workbook, Soul Searching Journal Prompts.

You’ll find it in The Manifestation Toolbox. It’s a treasure trove of free manifestation guides, workbooks and masterclasses.

Here’s a few question to get you started:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I believe about my life?
  • What is my true purpose?
  • What do I love doing?
  • Who do I love spending time with?
  • What am I great at?
  • How do I want to show up in the world?
  • What’s important to me?
  • What do I want to do?
  • What limiting beliefs are holding me back?
  • What do I need to do differently?
  • Who do I need to forgive?
  • What habits or behaviors are holding me back?
  • What habits or behaviors are helping me?
  • Are my actions governed by love or fear?
  • What legacy do I want to leave?
  • What would I do if I weren’t afraid?
  • Which emotions do I show?
  • Which emotions do I hide?
  • What am I afraid to say?

Remember to think about what you do want, as well as what you don’t.

“It’s important to figure out who you’re not, in order to figure out who you are”

Jay Shetty

You can either just ponder and reflect upon these questions, or you can use them as journaling prompts. If you enjoy journaling, be sure to check out my article How to Use a Manifestation Journal [A Comprehensive Guide] for lots of ideas and inspiration.

Soul Searching

Step Seven: Visualisation

Using the power of your imagination to visualise what you want your life to look like is both powerful and fun. This is where you can let your imagination run wild and explore all the possibilities without putting any limitations on yourself.

Here’s how visualisation works…

How to Visualise in 3 Easy Steps

Visualisation Step One:

Start by clearing your mind. The best way to do this is by meditating. Spend a few minutes meditating, focus on your breathing and allow any thoughts to come and go without engaging with them or judging them.

Visualisation Step Two:

Next, when you feel ready, begin to visualise your dreams, aspirations and goals for your life. Think about the 12 categories of your life which we talked about earlier.

Watch the free masterclass here if you want a re-cap.

Choose the category you want to start with. Think about what you want this area of your life to look like. And consider how you want to BE. How do you want to show up in the world?

Images and inspiration may just pop into your mind or like me, you may find it helpful to ask yourself, “how do I want my health to be? What is my dream for my health?”

Allow the image to build in your mind. Using all your senses, visualise it AS IF it’s already here. How do you feel? What are you doing? What do you see? Who is in the picture? What do you say?

Once you have your picture, I want you to turn up its intensity. Ask yourself:

If I made the picture bigger, would it be more compelling?

Would I feel stronger about it?

If Yes, make the picture bigger. If No, leave it as it is.

Now ask yourself each of these in turn:

If I made the picture brighter / louder / nearer would it be more compelling?

Would I feel stronger about it?

If Yes, make the picture brighter / louder / nearer. If No, leave it as it is.

Make any other changes you wish to in order to make your visualisation the most compelling, exciting and joyful for you. Don’t over think this! Use your intuition and let it guide you.

When you’re ready, move on to the next area of your life. Continue this process until you have covered each area you want to in your visualisation.

“Use your imagination until your big dream feels so familiar that its manifestation is the next logical step.”

Abraham Hicks

Visualisation Step Three:

When you’re ready, open your eyes and start to write in your journal about your visualisation.

Write everything down without filtering, analysing, judging or criticising. Just let your pen flow and write whatever comes to you. Don’t hold back – get it all out on paper!

This is much the same process you follow when you write a Manifestation List. For more on Manifestation Lists, check out my article here.

Step Eight: Connect With Nature

There’s something powerful about being in nature.

Whether it’s walking in the woods, along the beach or sitting on a bench in your local park, it’s important to spend time in nature on a regular basis.

As humans we’re inseparable from nature. It’s a part of who we are. That’s why it’s so nurturing and healing for you to connect with the natural world – especially when you’re on a Soul Searching journey.

Soul Searching

Step Nine: Create Your Community

Even though self-reflection, pondering and time alone are the cornerstones of Soul Searching there’s also a place for connecting with other, like minded, people on this journey.

Even if you’re an introvert who needs time alone to re-charge your batteries, (my hand is raised!) you still need some human connection with people who lift you up and make you feel good.

Think about who’s in your community now.

Are these people nurturing and supportive or negative and draining? If you don’t have the right people in your life right now, consider how you might expand your network.

You might like to join a club, get involved in a community initiative, a charity or make friends with people at work who you’ve not bothered with in the past. You never know – you might like them!

These connections need to be real life ones ideally – not on social media.

BTW, give social media a rest while you’re Soul Searching. You need to learn what you want and what’s important to you, and that can be hard when you’re distracted by images of other people (whose lives are so often falsely portrayed on social media) – you really don’t need that just now.

Soul Searching

Step Ten: Practice Self-Care

And finally, make sure you take some time for a little self-care while you’re Soul Searching. Soul Searching is important work that can have a profound effect on your life, so go easy and be kind to yourself in the process.

Think about your daily routines – how do you spend your time? Think of one or two new/extra things you can do to take care of yourself.

What about your eating, sleeping, exercising, stretching, breathing? And your hobbies – when did you last make time for them? Or is there something new you’re interested in and want to learn?

Do and think things that make you feel good. It’ll raise your energetic vibration and help you to connect with your soul – your True Self:

“As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with who you really are”

Abraham Hicks

As part of your self-care, you also might like to try some holistic healing practices such as reiki, chakra healing or energy work. Energy expert, Jeffrey Allen, has a free masterclass where he shows you how to use energy to transform any aspect of your life. He’ll also show you how to clear your number one energy block in just 7 minutes – it’s pretty amazing!

Jeffrey has a free masterclass, which you can watch here.

Jeffrey Allen

Soul Searching: Final Thoughts

So now you have the knowledge and tools to take your first steps in your Soul Searching journey.

Soul Searching is important, and often life transforming, work. Take your time and embrace what you find. You may not end up where you thought but that’s okay – that’s the journey! As Deepak Chopra says:

Trust that your soul has a plan, and even if you can’t see it completely, know that everything will unfold as it is meant to”

Deepak Chopra

Now over to you!

Which of these steps will you try first? What have you found useful on your Soul Searching journey?

Let me know in the comments below.

Hi, I'm Jessica

To your best life,

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